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Every time you masturbate god kills a kitten ... please think of the kittens

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Monday, May 12, 2003
Kitty cuts off own paw to save itself

A kitty after being pinned for days by an 800 pound Domo Kun in a green meadow, had to break its own bones before it could cut the limb off with a dull knife.

"Meow, meow, meow" it told reporters at the hospital where it was recuperating. The kitty was rescued last week after cutting off its own paw.

"Once that Domo Kun came to rest there was no way it would be released in time to save its paw" said an officer who was at the scene. A surgeon told the kitty that the recovered paw suffered significant soft tissue damage and loss of circulation.

When the kitty walked into a room for the news conference it pawed at a camera to take pictures of the assembled press. 'Meow, Meow' it said, smiling.

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